


This Man I Chose

by KalendraAshtar



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Andromeda sequel, Constellations series spin-off, F/M, Middle ages (kinda), alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7629097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalendraAshtar/pseuds/KalendraAshtar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a direct continuation for Andromeda, a story featured in Constellations series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Andromeda Sequel

**This Man I Chose**

She was sitting by the lake, her naked feet dipped in the calm waters, made blue and silver by the moonlight. Her white stockings made of fine silk were carelessly abandoned near the watercress that grew in the bank.

“I was looking for ye, Lady Claire.” Jamie said in a hushed tone, so not to frighten her. “I missed ye during dinner tonight.”

She glanced over her shoulder, noticing how his eyes were fixed in the exposed skin of her ankles and lower part of her calves, a rare and sensuous sight. She blushed slightly and fumbled with her skirts to cover more of her legs, divided between defiance and amusement.

“I wasn’t feeling very well.” Claire replied. “I came here to catch some fresh air.”

“I see.” He moved to sit near her in the soft grass, leaving a respectable distance between them - most certainly approved by any chaperone, although no living soul was within sight. “Are ye certain there’s nothing amiss, lass?”

She breathed deeply, trying to gather her thoughts. Oh well, best to come straight out with it then.

“I overheard your conversation with Lord Delmar and Lord Tadeus.” She admitted in a clipped tone. “You didn’t need to defend me, you know. I couldn’t care less about what those two swiving pigs think of my behaviour.”

She had been walking to the Great Hall, slightly late for dinner as she had spent the afternoon riding her mare in the woods near Beauchamp Castle. She had needed to spend some time alone, away from the crowd that seemed to populate every room and corner those days. Away from eager eyes and gossiping whispers. Even away from Jamie.

Claire couldn’t reasonably deny the appeal he exerted over her since the moment she first saw him – a sentiment that only grew with each glance, touch and conversation. That wild ride against him during the tournament had been one of the most trilling and satisfying moments of her life. And the acceptance and honesty she had found afterwards had sealed the deal.

But she was afraid of the course her life had suddenly gained without her consent. Of the changes to come, which might find her as unprepared as she had been to the idea of loving Jamie Fraser.

Her thoughts had been interrupted by the sound of voices talking near a tapestry and she was about to greet them when she heard her name. Claire halted and, hidden by the growing shadows, had recognized the voices of two young knights, vassals of her uncle.

“Do you think Lord Fraser will succeed in taming the wild mare?” Tadeus said with a crude laugh. “And will she bite his cock off while he does it?”

“Likely.” Delmar laughed. “I expect she will ride _him_ , if he doesn’t show her the proper place for a lady. More time sowing and praying and less time meddling in men’s affairs.”

“She is a pretty thing.” Tadeus added. “If she didn’t look like she would much prefer to wear an armour and a signet ring over a dress, I’d have married her years ago.”

Claire had been about to barge in and present them with a piece of her mind when she heard footsteps and a commanding voice.

“I would advise ye to be more careful in addressing my future wife – and yer mistress – in the future, Sir Tadeus. Unless ye want to solve this in the jousting arena.” She immediately recognized Jamie’s lilt.

“Lord Fraser!” Claire could hear the tremor in the man’s voice. “I was just commenting on the brave task you have upon you, sir. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

Jamie had laughed then, humourless.

“Lady Claire could have handled any of ye without needing a champion.” He said. “That the lot of ye seems so threatened by a lass tells me more about yer manhood than of my lady’s abilities. Ye have been warned.” And he marched away.

She stood there, her heart furiously beating in her chest, while they went away, probably seeking the comfort of food and drink after their humiliation.

“Ye are my bride, Lady Claire.” Jamie answered her in a serious tone. “We’re still getting to know one another and I ken that well, but…Do ye really think I could stand by and say nothing about it?” Jamie shook his head in disbelief.

“I told you in the stables that day,” She started, watching as a trained hawk made a low flight at distance before turning away, undoubtedly seeking its master’s hand. ”I am what I am. I fear you’ll spend every hour you’re not sleeping defending me, if you take that course of action. I’m used to it by now. Their words mean nothing to me.”

“Ye shouldn’t be.” Jamie retorted heatedly. “Used to it, I mean. Those were bold remarks and uncalled for. Ye are a Lady and the daughter of this castle.”

“But they told the truth!” She looked at him, fiercely. “I am good with a horse. I speak my mind. I clearly don’t spend enough time around laces and needles. I don’t need to be found pleasant or beautiful.” Their eyes met. “I am sorry – for embarrassing you, Lord Fraser. If you find you need to dissolve our commitment then…”

“Why do you do that?” Jamie asked, his big hands opening in desperation. “Are ye really so afraid that ye need to push me away everytime I get too close? Are ye so scared of me seeing that ye _are_ beautiful and worth any battles I might face?” His hand travelled the distance between them, as his fingers brushed hers. ”I won’t go away, Lady Claire. I won’t leave ye – not as long as ye want me here. My bride. My home. My equal.”

She gulped, fighting back tears that threatened to overpower the dam in her soul. To be wanted. To be respected. To be loved so completely by this man – the one she chose.

They stood in silence for a while, the soft summer breeze cooling their skin. A toad made a nasty flicker with its tongue and an awkward jump nearby, making them both laugh, easing the tension between them.

“Do ye ken what swiving is?” Jamie asked in a casual tone.

“I…” She glanced at him, trying to measure the best response. “Well, I…Yes, I do.”

“Ah.” There was a light frown between his ruddy brows made funny by the tenuous smile in the corner of his mouth. “Do ye…ken much about it?”

“The matter is not only a favourite amongst men, I believe.” She smiled. “The ladies also spend quite some time talking about it behind closed doors. You would be amazed by all the details.”

“They do?” He seemed surprised. “And what do they say about it?”

“All sorts of things.” She snorted. “There is the question of sizes, I believe. And some women say men grunt a lot during it; and snore afterwards.”

“Hm.” Jamie looked concerned and Claire noticed how his eyes discretely went to his own groin, as if measuring his own adequacy to recommended standards. “But you…I….I mean, you…are…”

“Yes. I am a maiden, Lord Fraser.” She raised an eyebrow to him, happily noticing how embarrassed he seemed. “And you milord – are you very…very _familiar_ with the subject?”

She was pleased to realize _he could_ get even redder, now that his cheeks truly matched his hair colour. Claire found it both adorable and refreshing, deeply contrasting with the usual poise and hardness of knights.

“I ken some of the theory.” He said in a low voice.

“Not the practice, then?” Claire pressed on. Her eyes found his and she saw quiet storms brewing in the dark blue of his eyes.

“No.” Jamie whispered. “Not the practice. Not what ye would suspect of a _Scottish barbarian_ , aye?” He laughed. “I learned ye used to call me that before.”

“Yes.” She admitted. “One of the many things I was surprised to discover about ye, Lord Fraser.”

“I hope I may continue to amaze ye, Lady Claire.” He said and his eyes softened in tenderness, while he grabbed her hand and planted a chaste kiss in her palm.

“You’re going to see me in my shift soon enough.” She said cautiously, after a moment. “Maybe…you could call me Claire? At least when we are alone?”

“Aye.” He agreed with a smile. “If ye think ye can call me Jamie?”

“I do.” She returned the smile. “Jamie.”

He got up and bent slightly, so that his mouth was close to her ear.

“I look forward to seeing ye in yer shift, Claire.” His hot breath cause a shiver down her spine. “And everything else that lies underneath it, _mo graidh_.”

And he walked away leaving the soles of her feet and her belly tingling with what she was most certain wasn’t cold.


	2. A Marriage of Equals

**A Marriage of Equals**

Claire was sitting on her bed, her knees cradled against her chest, hearing the calming rain taping on her window. She couldn’t sleep – not with relentless thoughts finding their way through her mind like wild horses on a field; not on the night that marked the eve of her marriage to Jamie.

She wished she could talk to him now, tell him why she had been silent and distant those past few days. She had felt remorse watching his confused blue eyes, of course – but was too concerned and sad to share her burden with him, nonetheless. Claire wasn’t sure he would comprehend her feelings and the reasons behind them. So she had avoided supper and sent word that she wished to rest before her big day and not to be disturbed.

But she could see now the error of her ways – he was about to become her wedded husband, her lord and master in everyone’s eyes – except he had promised her a marriage of equals, a place by his side where her voice could forever be heard. Had she not believe him? Was she afraid he would disappoint her when confronted with the practicality of his vow?

A light tap on her window pulled her away from the whirl of her thoughts. Thinking that the soft cold rain could be turning into a hail storm, she got up to make sure everything was tightly locked.

A second sound coming from the window echoed in her room, making her jump. It most certainly didn’t seem like something produced by nature alone, but rather like a small stone casted against her shutters.

She opened her window and peeked to the darkness outside.

Jamie was crouched in a high branch of the big tree outside her window, looking like a half-breed between an owl and a graceful cat. He smiled when he saw her, juggling with dexterity a pebble with his left hand.

“What are you doing?” She hissed, her stomach lurching in fear at the sight of the height bellow him. “You’ll break your neck!”

“Only if ye don’t let me in.” He calmly said, maintaining an air of dignity about him in spite of being soaking wet and perched on a tree like a thief in the night. “I was afraid ye were asleep and wouldna hear me with the sound of the rain falling. I was about to throw my last pebble.”

“Get in you bloody fool.” She opened the window and moved aside to allow him to come in. He placed his feet in the branch and stretched to get a good grip on the window frame, pulling himself up and inside her room.

He was wearing simple breeches and a shirt, meant to make him more agile while climbing trees, without even a thin cloak to shelter him from the harsh weather. Claire was chilled just to watch him and thankful of the shawl that was folded across her shoulders, covering her shift with modesty.

“I’m sure my uncle would not approve of you being in my room until we’re properly wedded.” She raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“Nay.” He grabbed a linen towel that was neatly folded next to the ewer and basin and used it to dry his hair. “The real question is – are ye?” He brushed her chin with the tip of his fingers. “I couldn’t watch our wedding day arriving with something meddling between us. What is it, Claire?”

“I…” She swallowed hard. “Yes, something is bothering me, Jamie. But I’m not having second thoughts. This time tomorrow I’ll be your wife.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” His eyes seemed to lighten up. He sat her on the bed as he kneeled at her feet and held her hands between his. “Tell me, then.”

“You were talking to my uncle, telling him about Lallybroch and the plans you have for the estate.” She avoided his eyes. “And I realized that you _are_ heir to Lallybroch.”

“I am that.” Jamie smiled, brushing a strand of her dark hair away from her temple.

“You are needed there, your place is by your father side, learning how to rule the lands.” She continued. “But _I_ am Lady here. Beauchamp Castle is my heritage. As your wife I’m expected to follow you and that means…” She rubbed his fingers. “That I’ll have to wave away my rights and deliver my land to somebody else’s hands.”

“Claire.” Jamie interrupted her and she watched his face, fierce and serious. “My place is by _yer_ side. Aye, we’ll have to go to Lallybroch and spend some time there but I would never ask ye to let go of yer home. I have a mind we can maybe have both worlds and divide our time between them. And when matters are more pressing I’m sure we can find suitable people to take care of things when we’re absent. I’m sure Sir Quentin will be glad to help; as will my father and Ian.”

“Do you mean it, Jamie?” She asked hopeful. “Can we really live in both places?”

“I wish ye’d talked to me sooner instead of throwing yerself in this anguish pit, _mo nighean donn_.” He replied with a tad of reproach, smoothened by the light caress of his fingers on her knuckles. “I ken who I’m marrying, _mo graidh_. Will you believe me in the future when I say I thought this through?”

“I will.” She sighed, the weight in her chest finally lifted. “I am sorry for behaving like that. I’m not used to have someone who I can trust and tell all the things in my heart. I have been alone for such a long time.”

“I ken it will take some time to get used to it. But Claire,” He framed her face with his hands. “Promise me ye’ll tell me these things. You once told me that I would always ken what’s on yer mind and I’m counting on it. That wee tongue of yers will give me a hard time and welcome.”

Claire laughed and the shawl around her shoulders slipped, showing the smooth skin of her _décolletage_ and a bared shoulder. She could feel the disarming proximity of Jamie’s body and searched for his reaction.

His eyes were darker, glaring at her suddenly exposed skin, and for a moment she saw the shape of wild things there. He breathed deeply and his gaze travelled to her face – and she saw his unbreakable vow, the sheer force of his nature which would hold all his desire under a tight leash until she was truly his to claim.

Claire smiled, a question in her eyes. His hands found her shoulders and he slowly placed the shawl in his rightful place again.

“Tomorrow?” She asked in a whisper, caressing his stubble.

“Tomorrow.” Jamie nodded and chastely kissed her lips. “If I survive. I reckon I’ll have to get out of here the way I came, aye?” He sighed, sternly looking at the opened window where the previous rain was quickly turning into a full-blown storm.

***

“To Lady and Lord James Fraser, may they find happiness in their common life; be blessed with children to fill their home; a fire always burning strong in their hearth; food and drink to fill the bellies in their hall; and a solid bed to share every night!”

The Hall roared in agreement as the crowd raised their cups to drink in the honour of bride and groom, sitting in the superior table with amused yet slightly mortified smiles on their faces.

“If they keep up with the toasts I don’t think we’ll be able to get up from this table.” Claire told Jamie in a low voice. “And I had plans for tonight.”

“Did ye?” He gave her a significant look and a lopsided smile. She looked utterly beautiful in her creamy gown, blazing with her cheeks flushed from the warmth of the Hall, the ingestion of sweet wine and the thought of the activities that awaited them as newlyweds. “I think perhaps we should leave now, _mo nighean donn_.”

Jamie raised from his seat and smiled to the familiar faces in the crowd.

“We thank ye for yer wishes of fortune and marital bliss. My bride is tired, as the hour is late and the day filled with emotions – we shall retire now.”

A choir of laughs, bold remarks and roars followed his words.

Jamie offered his hand to Claire as she raised and a knight in one of the lower tables whistled at the sight of her, making Jamie give him a dangerous look.

They marched from the Hall, swiftly followed by a knight of Claire’s household and a lady of Fraser’s lands – they were to be the witnesses of the consummation of their marriage. The knight was fat, with a neck and expression that made him resemble an angry boar; the lady was small, with thin lips and a croaked nose. Jamie gave Claire a questioning look, as he knew her well enough to know the situation couldn’t please her, in spite of being a tradition amongst nobility. She looked eerily calm and composed.

The couple entered the room and the witnesses prepared to follow them, but Claire halted.

“Will you please excuse us for just a moment? We shall call for you presently.” She said sweetly. They shared a confused look, but sat on the chairs placed near the door, which Claire swiftly closed behind her.

“So,” Jamie said, folding his arms with an amused look. “What is the plan?”

“I don’t follow you, sir.” Claire replied but a smug smile betrayed her. “I just wish to talk to my husband before we entertain our guests. Is that so strange?”

“Whatever ye’re cooking for them.” He tilted his chin to indicate the closed door. “I hope it’s not poison. I don’t think we could explain _that.”_

“Oh, it’s not poison.” She added cheerfully, taking her delicate shoes off. “Just regular and innocuous herbs that _someone_ mixed with their drink. By mistake, obviously.” She made a small bow. “They shall be in deep slumber by now.”

Together they opened a crack of the door, giggling when they saw the pair snoring with their heads neatly placed in each other’s shoulder.

“They will be too ashamed to tell anyone they weren’t present in the room. I guess they’ll have to believe in our word.” Jamie closed the door again and bolted it.

They talked a little about their day, mainly about the ceremony that took place in the castle’s chapel, while sharing a soothing cup of wine. Their words slowly became more disconnected, as they grew more aware of their surroundings and the other’s presence. Jamie was sitting in a chair, while Claire had took over the bed.

Jamie wanted her and badly. His whole body was pulsing with desire. But he loved her too much; had no wish to scare her or hurt her with a precipitated gesture of passion. He had thought long about it and decided the best course of action was letting her dictate the rhythm of things – let her demonstrate she was ready and he would wait. Forever, if need be.

Last night everything seemed so simple between them. If he wanted he could have pushed her against the bed and she would have surrendered to the demands of their urges. But he had waited, knowing that she deserved to have it all – and now they were both nervous, having had too much time to think.

“Are you nervous?” She asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

“Aye.” He breathed deeply. “I am. And ye?”

“Yes.” She brushed the bedclothes with her palm. “Maybe if you come sit next to me it would be easier?”

Jamie obediently moved to six next to her on the enormous bed.

“Do ye want me to blow out the candles?” He asked softly. “If you prefer to be in the dark…”

“No.” Claire answered firmly. “I want to be able to…watch you. I want to see us. Together.”

He nodded and his hand searched for hers, entwining their fingers.

“Tell me something true.” She asked in a husky voice, tugging at the laces of her gown. Jamie placed his hands on top of hers and she let go, allowing him to begin to undo her laces. His breath was hot and moist on her neck and she shivered.

“I wanted to lie with ye from the first moment I saw ye, thundering in the Hall and speaking yer mind. Ye looked so bonny and fierce. That was the first night in my life I dinna sleep thinking of a lass, my body aching with the thought of ye.”

When he was done, she turned and faced him. Her breathing was fast and superficial, like she had been running for a long time. Her hands tentatively sought his coat and helped easing it out of his shoulders.

“My turn now. I watched you bathe in the river a couple of weeks ago.” She admitted with flushed cheeks. “I wanted to know what to expect so I wouldn’t disappoint you.”

“Ye could never disappoint me, Claire.” He kissed her temple. “Did ye…like it? What ye saw?”

“Yes.” She rubbed his fingers with hers. “I felt something awakening in me. It was like a pain and a throb in my belly that only you could quell.”

Jamie started to unlace her petticoat.

“I heard that women…ladies…usually don’t like it very much.” He gulped, as his fingers brushed her waist. “The bedding. If you dinna like it I want ye to tell me to stop, Claire. If I’m no pleasuring ye, then we mustn’t do it.”

Claire looked at him, surprise and tenderness in her eyes. She helped him with the cuffs of his shirt and eventually they managed to undress it. She gasped at the sight of his bared chest.

“Even if you are enjoying it?” She finally asked.

“Aye.” He kissed the hollow between her clavicles. “I want ye to want me, Claire. I need to feel ye there with me. If ye don’t – then we can maybe do other things.”

“Like what?”

With tremulous fingers he slowly undid the laces of her corset, finally freeing her of the tight prison. She was just in her shift and silky stockings now and he had never seen a more beautiful thing.

“Like this.” Jamie kneeled before her and his hand softly travelled across her leg, up her calf until he reached her thigh. He brushed the tender skin there for a moment and finally started to roll off the white fabric. Encouraged by the small moan she made at the contact of his fingers with her heated skin, he bent over and planted a moist kiss inside her thigh. “And this.” He brushed the side of her breast, still hidden by her shift, while he licked the curve of her neck.

“Ohhh.” She sighed. “I wanted you from the first moment I saw you too. You were so different from everything I ever expected. When we raced against each other and you admitted defeat with such grace, I wanted to lay you right there and then on the grass and kiss you until you moaned my name.”

He laughed, his voice hoarse with desire, as she touched his bared belly. Their joined hands found the fastenings of his pants. Claire tentatively touched the swell of his cock and he couldn’t contain a moan, shaped with her name. “Claire.”

Jamie brushed his lips delicately against the corner of her mouth.

Their lips finally found each other and they kissed, their mouths seeking that unexplainable connection, their tongues exploring the sanctuary of each other. It was fire and healing water; it was home outside their bodies, in another person; it was desire, screaming to be acted upon. They kissed with all the passion that had grown during the last month, during all their lives waiting for each other.

Jamie fondled her breast, quickly discovering that her reaction was everything he ever hoped it would be. Claire was hugging him close, her fingers playing with the small hairs on his nape, while his opened palms rested on her hips.

“It’s your turn.” She whispered, her body pressing against him.

“I love ye, Claire.” He whispered back, finally undoing the simple knot on the neck of her shift, making the fabric puddle at her feet. “I love ye.” He repeated, taking her in his arms and laying her down.

And that was the one truth that mattered.

 


End file.
